I wonder if the reason I don’t have a roommate yet is because I answer emails in the following fashion (relevant portions of my ad are followed by his questions are followed by my answers)*:

“I want to be comfortable sharing the common spaces and hanging out - again, I want to be able to live with you, be social and not just share breathing space.”

5. Do I get to share the common areas with you?

Yes, as I stated in the ad, I would like to have a fairly social relationship with my roommate. This wouldn’t really be possible if I banned you from the living room and kitchen.

“If you do have a pet, I would need to meet it before making a decision. Any extra deposit and rent would be your responsibility. Currently the pet deposit is $500 and the pet rent is $30/month. …

…There is a $200 deposit. This is independent of the $500 pet deposit. “

6. What does the statement “any extra deposit and rent is your responsibility”? Is that just in reference to the subject of pets?

Yes, that’s why the comments about pets were before and after it.

I mean, I’m not really being rude, but seriously. Reading comprehension skills, people.

In other news, I don’t have any money! I spent it all on rent last month! I haven’t even opened any bills yet, and they’re all overdue! I hope I meet someone who I will allow to move in sometime soon!