TNG totally rules!

Well, my roomie just walked out the door with her cutest puppy dog. I don’t actually believe they’re not coming back. They’re just going for a little trip!

This sucks!

Also, have not met anyone I would live with yet.

Also, trying to put together a catwoman costume for halloween.

Maybe I’ll go get some breakfast from Mickey D’s just because I’m up. Eh, probably not.

Bye ShanWan .

Roomie is leaving on Friday and I still haven’t rented out her room! Damnit!

I tried screening on roommates.com for gay guys, but there were only 5 that came up, and three of them weren’t actually moving until next year (despite putting down Nov 1 as their move-in dates).

Blah. I don’t have time for this!

I’m easy to please.

I am soooo excited… witness my NEW SHEETS!

I don’t know why the pillows are arranged all stupid like that. I think I thought it would make the view of the sheets THAT MUCH BETTER.

Also, please note the striped green pillowcase hiding in the back. That was my previous set of new sheets. The boy version of the pink ones. I was waiting and waiting for Mr. Tommy Hilfiger (I always want to call him “HilFINGER”) to make the pink ones available in my size.

And isn’t it weird, I don’t even like pink!

But I like my new sheets!

I had every intention of getting major work done in my room and my life tonight. Took roommate to the airport (no, she’s not gone yet, just a vacation for her), then came back home. Sat down in front of my computer.

It has been at least 6 hours since then, and I have not done one thing I wanted to. Not even because I’m surfing around online. No, just because my brain is not functioning properly. Here is what happens:

I say “Okay self, time to get up and do something,”

I wonder what I will do.

I spot or remember something that needs to be done.

I start doing it.

I need to move to another location (yeah, I mean stand up, or walk across the room), in order to continue with my BIG PROJECT (say, of putting new tripleA batteries into my voice recorder).

In the process of MOTION, I completely forget what it was I was doing. And I don’t even realize it. Until 2 hours later, when I am sitting around doing nothing and I say,

“Okay self, time to get up and do something.”

And then there are the batteries, sitting on the desk, where I placed them after removing them from the drawer and packaging they were in. I probably set them down in order to get the voice recorder out of a bag, and I needed two hands to do it. And just like that, poof! Out of sight, out of mind!

I have no fewer than 20 things that I have started tonight and completely forgotten about within 2 minutes of starting them. I could be HANGING MY CLOTHES UP and forget what I was doing between the bed and the closet (i dump my clean laundry on the bed before it is put away). Not forget as in “huh, what am I doing with this shirt in my hand,” but forget as in I have no clue I was ever doing it in the first place, and therefore I move on to a different activity.

I took the dog out for a walk, but first put a pot of water on the stove to boil, cause I wanted to make hard-boiled eggs. Go for walk, obviously forget about the water, because what else would I do?

About 30 minutes later I notice steam from the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. Oh crap! Go put my eggs in the water, which has boiled down to about half the original quantity. Walk to my bedroom to get the timer.

Guess what happened?!

Yes, by the time I arrived in my room, both eggs and timer were a long-lost memory.

A good 45 minutes later, I remember about the effin’ eggs. Run to the stove! Rescue eggs! Berate myself for being such a fart-faced idiot!

And just in case you really were wondering, it is in fact possible to burn hard-boiled eggs. And I do mean burn them. They very closely resemble campfire-roasted marshmallows.

But they still taste the same. Yummerific.

It’s amazing I got them from the shell into my mouth without getting lost along the way.
________
p.s. the batteries are still not in the voice recorder - but they are right in front of me, so i’m going to do that right… now…….

What if some sick, psychotic, creepy man spent his time answering females’ roommate ads on Craigslist - just to find out if they could be potential victims?

He’d know where they live! He’d have their address and phone number! He’d probably even know when they’re home, depending on the what-kind-of-roommate-are-you conversation.

I don’t let guys that I’m dating know where I live for as long as I can help it.

This is probably a concern because I have a serious, psychotic stalker. I wonder if I can post audio files. You wouldn’t believe his messages.

Was sitting around on my bed, hanging out with a couple other people. who, i can’t remember… sister?

There is a huge model of the earth in the middle of the large, open room. It consists of a large globe, around 2 feet in diameter, which rotates as the earth does on its axis. It’s a deep royal blue with accurate continental and nephological detailing. On an appropriate time scale, the globe revolves around the center pole, reflecting earth’s orbit around the sun. It is understood that on display is a real-time portrayal of our planet’s place in space - except with no other planets or the sun present. Its quite a large contrapment, and is our focus off and on while we sit around and talk.

After some time, there are a few people in the room, including a young boy. He’s fascinated by the earth replica, which dwarfs him in size, and walks around the model, watching it intently.

I’m still sitting on the bed when I noticed the boy had stopped and gotten very quiet. I looked over and he was staring up at the earth, which was slowly beginning to stop its rotation.

Or was it? I kept rubbing my eyes, trying to see if I was imaging things. But soon it was clear that the rotation was indeed stopping.

We all looked at each other, wondering what it meant.

After a little while, the globe comes to a halt. I have no idea what is going on. This is not a mechanical device; it’s not powered by anything, it just IS, and what it IS is a device that tracks what the earth is doing. And it just stopped spinning.

We’re all curious and a little concerned. Nobody seems to know what this means.

But as soon as the spinning stops, it starts up again. A wave of relief passes through the room. Except - I’m staring at the globe and trying to figure out if I’m really seeing what I think I am. And soon it becomes apparent that the earth is rotating the wrong way.

In a minute it starts stuttering a little, as if it’s not able to continue the path or spin that it wants to make. We’re all kind of freakin gout. Someone says, “Call jay [one of my dj’s] - he knows all sorts of shit.” Calls are put out to various people to try to figure out what the hell is going on, but we can’t get a hold of anyone who might know.

…..

In the middle of the night (it’s still nighttime, even though there are no windows, I know that it is), I receive a call that instructs me to call Aretha for information.

Aretha? Franklin? The thought flits through my mind as I’m looking at the message (that I guess I wrote down?).

Shrug, it doesn’t matter who Aretha is, as long as she has answers.

…..

Start dialing, then wake up.

I just had this wacky dream wherein I was working with some dude - someone I actually know, but I can’t remember who - and he was giving me this evolutionary biology project to work on. It involved studying the extension of the giraffe neck and also working with the fossilized remnants of pygmies, which in my dream were little bitty humans that were about 1.5 inches tall. I was shocked to learn how tiny the pygmies were.

Then I woke up and remembered I forgot to pay my rent and I am late for an appointment!

Bye!

Yo. I hate the morning. Have we had this discussion before?

Anyway - I know it probably isn’t exactly clear how I earn all the millions of dollars that I make, and I’m okay with that. But I would just like to complain about the fact that I have to keep going into the office where I do part-time work and, um… WORK!

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that I have about 4.235 billion projects to be working on that have nothing at all to do with RISK MANAGEMENT and I wanna be doing those things! Plus, the IRS is probably going to come banging down my door sometime soon if I don’t get with the program.

The only good thing is that I should have lots of extra moolah this month. I emphasize “should”, because despite the fact that Tipper took care of me last month, I still ended up $200 short of my normal income. On the other hand, I did buy lots (and lots) of new clothes….

Yeah, I guess I’m done whining for now.

So my amazingly awesome roommate has decided to ABANDON me and leave me helpless and alone here in my little town. God DAMN HER!

I mean, sure it’s great that she got an awesome job offer and that they gave her everything she asked for, and that she’s moving to the place where all her OTHER friends live, but WHAT ABOUT ME?!?

Um, what else? Oh, I guess I have a short secret garden update, but honestly it is so boring that I haven’t been inspired to write about it.

I worked the past few days at a trade show at Moscone - the guy and girl I worked for fell in love with me and potentially want me to do offsite work for them pending receipt of my resume and writing samples. That would be sweet. Also, the guy had some rad ideas concerning my business and I am going to try to implement them as soon as I get my new website up and running! Whee!

Ummmm, that’s about it. MNF is calling. Poor Packers!