i like big butts and i cannot lie
Yo. It’s 12:30 am and I just got home from a dance practice session that started at 8pm. It was INTENSE for all four hours. And I love it. I feel sooo good right now. Except for the part where my back is sore. And all my torso muscles. And my legs.
You really don’t need to read the rest. It’s mainly about my non-butt and it’s boring. I’m writing it for the sake of putting something in here, I guess.
Anyway. Back to the no-butt issue. My pants are fitting like baggy diapers. I want to cry every time i get dressed. I HAVE NO BOOTY. My white-ass roommate looks like J. Lo compared to me.
I don’t really know what to do. Because I didn’t PLAN this weight loss. So that means it’s coming from my normal activities. Lifting and moving sound equipment, dancing, weights and cardio at the gym. The only thing I can really stop is going to the gym, but why would I do that?
Also, I know this sounds as stupid as my last post, but — My upper body is looking waaaay too cut. I mean it. You can see every muscle striation in my shoulders. If I turn my arm the right way, you can see the two parts of my biceps (you know, because they’re BI-ceps– there really are two muscles in there that make it up). You can see all the veins in my arms and my torso. It’s downright creepy. My legs and butt don’t have this issue. They still have a lot of fat padding them. Uh, well, my butt doesn’t have quite as much fat, obviously.
When I look in the mirror, yeah, it’s cool in a fascinating kind of way (look at that muscle! look at all the branches and patterns that my veins make! hm, actually, my veins look like ENORMOUSLY LONG EARTHWORMS CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN), but really what I want is to have a nice cute girly tummy, you know, with a little (tiny) pooch, and a little waist, and some curves, and oh yeah, AN ASS. I really don’t want to look like a muscle-y brick. I mean, at least I am lean and not body-builder muscular, but I’m starting to feel icky and embarassed about everyone seeing all my muscles. Because they stare and then they can’t help but comment. It’s like, WEIRD. I’m a circus freak.
And I don’t have enough appetite to just stuff my face. This is abnormal, believe you me. I can stuff my face with the best of them, under normal circumstances. But I just keep forgetting to eat. That’s what no appetite will do to you. Bizarro-world.
ANYWAY. I don’t even know WHY I am writing this, much less why you are reading it. Go do something more productive, or at least read something more interesting.
That’s where I’m headed.
Night!
4 Responses to “i like big butts and i cannot lie”
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June 17th, 2005 at 3:45:28 pm
how about some pictures to go along with all this muscle talk? You can cut out your face for the sake of anonymity, but still let us seeee!
June 17th, 2005 at 4:37:41 pm
will do… but you’ll have to remind me to take them off the camera. i have over 200 pics on the camera from the last few months and about 5 groups of people that i would rather avoid than hear from them AGAIN - “when can we get those pictures??”
emptying the camera is on my to-do list… just underneath a lot things…
June 18th, 2005 at 4:53:52 am
i really have to debate reading the rest of this after “enormously long earth worms crawling under my skin” popped out and invaded my eye sight.
June 19th, 2005 at 9:43:41 am
heh heh heh. sorry, but that’s what it’s like!