Dudes! I’m alive! I almost died several times over the past few days but I am aliiiiive!

Working in the city two nights in a row kicked my non-existent ass. And, um, hello, San Franciscans who are out there reading this? How the HELL DO YOU LIVE in that city? I hate it. I used to live there and I hated it. Everytime I go back, I still hate it.

The roads suck balls, the parking is a nightmare from hell, the pedestrians act like they WANT to see what it feels like to get smacked by a car, and the HILLS! My god, the hills! I was afraid for my life after getting up some of those things and looking over the crest. I swear it was like a rollercoaster on several of those streets. No, really, I mean, REALLY.

On one particularly memorable CHUTE OF DEATH (which doesn’t hold a candle* to the picture above), I had come to a mysterious stop sign that appeared to be on the edge of a cliff. Because I don’t actually have a death wish, I inched slowly up past the stop sign and saw a curve to the right ahead of me. Curves are okay, right, okay, let’s go around the curve.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I wish to god I had a camera because you would not BELIEVE what I saw. I am game for just about anything and not afraid of much - I’ll ride any rollercoaster, run back in line over and over again for the Drop Zone, I’ll hang-glide, jump out of a plane (with a parachute), bungee jump**, but this shit scared the poop right out of me.

Ahead of me was a street that must have been pushing a straight 45 degree grade. SERIOUSLY.*** I can’t believe the engineering on that street worked out. I’ve been on my share of San Francisco hills and windy roads — even Lombard Street, the crookedest street in the world BECAUSE of its steepness, is a mere 16 degree descent — but this crap took the cake.

Okay, so the hill is steep. On TOP of that, it was about the width of two cars. Right. Except there was a straight line of cars perpendicularly (ahem) parked on the right side of the road. Which left barely one car width of space to get down this hill.

What FREAKS of nature live on that street and park their car on it every day? I couldn’t even see how it was physically possible to get your car into one of those spots because there was NO SPACE to turn, not to mention the grade of doom.

Anyway. I got to the top of the hill and freaked out. I contemplated backing down the hill I was already on, but a glance in my rearview mirror informed me that there was a large, impatient truck behind me. Luckily, there was just enough room for me on the curve to pull over and let him go first. I said, go ahead buddy! It’s your life!

Amazingly, he made it down unscathed. So, encouraged by his survival, I made the plunge, inch by inch, riding the brakes and holding my breath the whole way down.

As you can see, I am here to tell the story. No death, no destruction, but I’d still rather not have the story to recount at all.

I hate that city.
_____
*What does that mean?

**No I won’t.

***Not seriously.

The performances went okay. Saturday night the boots kind of messed me up. Also, I couldn’t hear the music. So that was good.

Sunday morning I practiced for 2 hours straight in mah boots. So Sunday night went a lot better. I haven’t seen the whole video yet, but from what I saw we kicked ass.

After Sunday night’s performance I had to rush to karaoke. My little karaoke boys are so damn cute! They just fall all over their drunk selves to try to help me. They’re totally intimidated by my BUFF GUNS, as is everyone in the known universe, and rightfully so.

Anyway, Sunday night was fun. I can’t let the drunk boys help me with the expensive equipment because, well, it’s really expensive and I don’t want them touching, dropping, or breaking it. The expensive stuff also happens to be the heaviest, so after my repeated orders to not help and not touch anything, they all stood around and watched me lift the heavy stuff. There was much ooohing and aaaahing. I let them carry all the other things around for me so they felt useful. I had an army of 5 helping me Sunday night. So cute!

Yesterday and today should be recovery days, but they aren’t. Too much work to do. Dancing put a huge, constant cramp in my back, right between my shoulder blades. So that’s nice.

I know it’s after 11am but I should really still be asleep. Worked in the city last night until 4am. Have to do it again tonight. Not happy about it. Sentence fragments are the fad du jour. Neck hurts, body tired - off to get some work done.

I’ve got two dance performances this weekend - same gig, just performed two days in a row. It’s pretty fun - our professional dance company is performing as a guest artist at a local dance school’s recital. The kids there are completely in awe of us. Actually, you would be too, cause we look gooooood. And we’d better - we had 4 nights of 4+ hour rehearsals that often went until midnight.

I hope I don’t screw it up because at the dress rehearsal last night I discovered that the boots I’m dancing in conveniently make me TRIP OVER MYSELF. Not particularly helpful when you’re trying to DANCE TO A COMPLICATED HIP-HOP ROUTINE.

I can tell you’re waiting with bated breath to see the outcome of this alarming turn of events, so I’ll be sure to update you afterwards.

To the asswad at Walgreen’s who, when I asked for a full roll of quarters, said he had only two dollars’ worth to give me, and then BROKE OPEN A ROLL OF QUARTERS in order to give me the eight quarters (which aren’t even enough to do a single full load of laundry):

You are fat and your haircut is stupid and maybe if you spent all those years in school obtaining a higher education instead of picking your butt while you sat in front of Everquest for several years, you wouldn’t have to wield your power over others by being an ASSISTANT MANAGER AT WALGREENS.

Also? I want to punch you right in the nose.

Thank you,
me

Why are my post times 1 hour and 35 minutes off?

Weird.

Just a few minutes ago, I drove right by an ex-boyfriend. CT, for those in the know. He was stopped and I turned right in front of him. First time I’ve seen his face in, hmm… 17 months.

I could have easily said hi or caught his attention; his window was wide open… but I didn’t. It’s amazing how feelings can just disappear. Scary, almost. But I feel absolutely nothing towards him, not even a hint of friendship. Well, nothing except for a vague sense of - I’m so glad I’m not with him anymore. Honestly.

I could elaborate on the many reasons why, but what’s the point?

Does it mean I was never really in love with him? Can you really just stop loving someone? Since it’s been over, I have often thought that I wasn’t really in love, because since then I have experienced an infinitely greater bond, one that I would call love except it was so much more than I ever thought love was with this ex. But maybe I was just wrong before.

The indifference toward him is kind of a cool feeling. Except I hope that nobody I love ever loses their feelings for me in this way. That would suck.

Yo. It’s 12:30 am and I just got home from a dance practice session that started at 8pm. It was INTENSE for all four hours. And I love it. I feel sooo good right now. Except for the part where my back is sore. And all my torso muscles. And my legs.

You really don’t need to read the rest. It’s mainly about my non-butt and it’s boring. I’m writing it for the sake of putting something in here, I guess.

(blah, blah, more blah…)

So, I accidentally lost almost 15 pounds recently. Really quick-like. I don’t know how it happened, and to be quite honest, I am too tiny to be losing 15 pounds!

Sorry if weight or body image is a sore point for anyone reading this. You should probably stop reading now if that’s the case, because I don’t want to have to apologize for what I’m saying below.

(blah, blah, more blah…)

Oh, all right.

So, awhile ago I freaked out when some guy who had been hitting on me at karaoke searched online for info about me and FOUND THIS BLOG. What the hell!??? I don’t really know how to keep people from finding it, because when they search for karaoke, along with a variation of my screen name, THIS SITE APPARENTLY COMES UP.

So annoying. I would change my screen name, except, what would I change it to!??!?!? And besides, you guys would invariably forget, and type the name(s) you’re used to, and then that would get picked up by the search engine (which is what happened), and god, what trauma.

Anyway. I made some changes that I think will keep the blog from getting picked up by search engines. I hope.

Incidentally, the guy who was so gung-ho about calling me and taking me out (I was very anti-this-idea, and anti-him in general)? I never heard from him again. So I guess this blog served a good purpose! To scare people away from me!

Yeah. So. I will have to be vigilant about the search engine situation, but otherwise, yay, here I am, hooray, party, be merry, you know, do what you have to do. And I’ll be around.