Took three dance classes today. The first one, we’ll call it hip-hop because that’s what it is, is so early on Saturday mornings (11:00am!) that there are often many casualties. Today only three people showed up. This class is reminiscent of an all-girls high school in that nobody makes any effort to look presentable in the least. So there we three are, along with the teacher, hair wild, eyes barely open, trying to get through the moves. Sleepwalking hip-hop, how… quaint. Sorry, I couldn’t find any hip-hop pictures; Degas will have to do.

After hip-hop, I was more awake and more disheveled, and had to rush to another location to make the second two classes on time. But! I realized that in my haste this morning, while I did remember to shave my underarms, I did NOT remember to apply deodorant. Disaster! I know from experience that it is a BAD IDEA to take a Salsa class without deodorant. You’re too close to other people, your arms are constantly moving up and down, and your partner’s nose invariably brushes by your armpit.

Also, I could not find my eyeliner pencil to save my life. The most annoying thing about this is that I specifically bought two eyeliner pencils, even though they’re ridiculously expensive, so that I could carry one around with me and leave one at home. And I did not have my portable one. God! What trauma.

Despite my time crunch, I stopped at the Walgreens down the street from the second class location. Ran inside and bought deodorant and (ANOTHER) eyeliner pencil (WHICH WILL STAY IN THE CAR). Ran outside and sat in car, hastily applied eyeliner, a little blush, a little lip gloss. I am not a makeup girl, but this was necessary to try to avoid looking like the walking dead when I walked into the studio. Hastily arranged hair into a slightly less-wild coiffure. Looked around, didn’t see anyone too close to my car, so I lifted up my arms and put on that deodorant, baby! Whew!

I arrived for class with time to spare, so I filled up my water bottle and started stretching. Most of the girls in this particular dance company are pretty down to earth, but there’s always got to be that one snobby bitch in any group. In this case, there are two, but one is a gay guy, so, you know, count that however you will.

I’m a pretty nice person and I don’t pay any mind to snobby bitches since most people seem to think I am one (I am not. I Just Don’t Care about other girls and their cattiness, so I have trouble relating to most women.). So when Snobby Bitch came and studied me as I stretched, I ignored her. But then, she spoke! To my face! A new experience, who knew today would be so exciting?

“I saw you at the Walgreens,” she said, and was that a smirk I saw on her face?

I figured she saw me inside the store buying the deodorant and eyeliner, or saw me putting on makeup and was smirking at my rush to do so before class (despite the wild work of art that adorned her own face). I laughed and asked her if she saw what I bought - I thought it was FUNNY that I was buying deodorant right before class. “No,” she said, before she flipped her hair around and left for better pickings.

Okay, then I guess she just drove by while I was walking out, or driving down the street to the class. I remembered that I had seen her walk into the building just ahead of me. Big deal.

La la la, I am dancing away, when suddenly I realize, that bitch must have seen me checking out my underarms and slathering on the deodorant in my car! I have to admit, it was pretty uncouth, but I HAD TO DO IT. If I had really cared whether anyone saw me, I would have put a bag over my head first.

Not that any damage was done. I’m not easily embarassed, I just laughed to myself when I realized that she was trying to get in a little dig.

Girls are so stupid. And that, my friends, is the moral of the story.
Or maybe it’s, um, put on your deodorant in the privacy of your own home. Whatever.

Morning is not generally my friend. Morning and I, we go way back. We agreed a long time ago that it was best to just avoid each other. Twilight and Dawn, on the other hand, are good friends of mine; we visit daily and get along just swell.

Today, Morning and I are having a visit. I have to get ready for a gig I have this afternoon - karaoke and DJ for a private party. Fascinating, no? In order to prepare for this particular job, I have been busy getting together songs for a group of Rock and Metal CDs.

These genres are not my strong points, but it’s been kind of fun anyway. A sampling of the bands included in the current list: Skid Row, Def Leppard, Thin Lizzy, Dio, White Lion, Black Sabbath/Ozzy, Aerosmith, Winger, Ratt, Poison, Queensryche, Metallica, Van Halen, Dokken, Rush, King’s X, Bon Jovi, Stryper, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Judas Priest, Scorpions, Warrant, Twisted Sister, White Snake, Quiet Riot, Great White, Iron Maiden, Bush…

… and so on.

The amazing thing I discovered was that, while I was sure I had almost negative familiarity with this type of music, in fact I know a lot of it. Well, the classic rock I definitely knew, but I was shocked to find myself singing along to many of the metal songs. I guess this is the stuff that got picked up by my subconscious in the 80’s & early 90’s. And I thought MC Hammer and George Michael were the only ones that stuck with me from that time.

Weird.

You know, sometimes everything is okay. Sometimes, even when people do the most idiotic things, act in the most thoughtless and moronic ways, I grant them the benefit of the doubt. I let it all roll off my back. I smile and feel pity for their stupidity, and self-satisfied with my calm, forgiving demeanor.

And sometimes I am neither calm nor forgiving. A sampling of my thoughts during the day today, for example:

(blah, blah, more blah…)