I have never in my life had the mindset of “spring cleaning”, or of any cleaning, for that matter. Not that I live in a pigsty…not 100% of the time anyway… it’s just that there are always better things to do than chores. I spent 80% of my time from ages 12-15 doing chores. Not just any chores, mind you - chores like Scrubbing the Large Kitchen Floor With A Toothbrush - EVERY WEEK (you may substitute Toilet Bowl Base, or any other number of tile-based surfaces, for Kitchen Floor if you’d like) - thanks to ESM (that’s my stepmom - go ahead, guess what the E stands for). And just so you know, the other 20% of my waking life was spent in school. I guess it was supposed to keep me out of trouble?

(I feel I should clarify - while I can tolerate clutter, I cannot tolerate DIRT. Dirt is gross. Grody. Nastirific. It makes me feel as though I really am as Poor as I am.)

Anyway. Today, many years after I thought I put all chores behind me, my bathroom is in sad shape. Specifically, my tub is frightening me to the point that I cannot step foot into it, which sort of ruins the rest of my day. And since this has been going on for a couple days, I have decided it is time to take control. The Bathroom Ambush is scheduled to commence as soon as I finish this entry. Ahem.

(I’d take a picture of the tub but honestly I am far too embarassed - and considerate - to let another set of eyes be burned by that atrocity.)

Also - to run with the theme of Taking Control, I intend today to assault the living room. Despite the fact that I renewed my year-long lease yesterday (read: I have lived here for one year), it still looks as though I’m just popping in for a casual stay, ala “Hey buddy, do you mind if I just bring a couple boxes by, just for a few weeks, I promise, and then I’ll be out of your hair!”

To wit:

	This is my living room RIGHT NOW. In my ever-so-slight defense, all xmas decorations are my roommate’s. I’ve been looking straight through them for about 2 months, and only rediscovered them now, with you. It’s a bonding experience; do you feel it?
What was that screen up above hiding? This, the Collection Of Articles That Should Be Stored In The Garage Except I Don’t Have One. If you look very closely, you can see that the last time I entered this area was October, 2004. Actually, it was July 2004, which is when I would have written in the dates for that 4-month calendar. Hmm.

Okay. This entry has taken FAR TOO LONG, because I was trying to get the above pictures and corresponding text aligned just so. Re: Anal Retentive Perfectionist OCD Freak (See: Me). Now that it’s been an hour or two and I have completely lost all motivation to clean, I am going to commence Operation Spring Cleaning - Ambush Bathroom, Assault Living Room. I will post updated pictures, because the only reason for posting any in the first place is to motivate myself to provide after shots.

I leave you with a picture of my shiny bike, with air-filled tires, which I washed earlier today as the prelude to cleaning up the house. Just to prove that I accomplished some sort of cleaning today.